A dog has the right to be a dog: Part 1

The Vomitorium

Pick of the day: Pod Wallen, Krakow

Ok so it’s not technically a toilet, but you have to give us this one! A basin with hose attached. The sign explains all you need to know.

Style: Basin

Atmosphere: Oppressive. Eat more, drink more.

Extras: Hose, Full view of urinals. Interestingly this feature was only available to gents. Sorry ladies.

So, this could be a bit of long one sorry. In a nut shell since last, Bussed overnight Berlin – Krakow (1 night), short train hop to Warsaw (2 nights), overnight bus to Vilnius (2 nights), overnight bus to Tallinn (1 night). Currently in St. Petersburg and its fantastic, but that is another post.

The bus from Berlin to Krakow was out first overnighter on the road, the best description for it would have to imagine flying long haul with Ryan Air. We ended up being kicked of the bus at 6am in a church car park in the middle of the polish countryside. After wandering around pointing at our ticket which said Warsaw we were taken under the wing of the least aggressive/most friendly lady there who shepherded us onto the right connection when it came. Turned up in Krakow exhausted and confused and having found the hostel spent some serious time dribbling into our tea on the sofa.

Arches around Krakows old market square

Krakow shopping centre, an exhibition celebrating the Polish winter FA of Gasherbrum IV

My what a big Schnitzel you have!

Krakow is the old royal capital of Poland and it shows with a beautiful walled old town complete with a castle, winding cobbled streets and carriages with pairs of horses waiting to whisk you off. We would show you but Ben had a brain fart and deleted all the photos of the city that he took with his camera, so just take our word for it. The castle had spectacularly Polish bureaucracy when it came to trying to have a look round. Turns out we turned up on a day when it happened to be free to go round the castle. But as we tried to go in we got stopped by a lady who told us we still needed tickets. Eventually found the ticket office to be told that we had found the wrong ticket office. Found the correct ticket office but no one was there. Turns out they had run out of free tickets to give out. No castle.

‘Pod’ in Polish essentially means pub (as far as we can make out) and we did manage to find an amazing one with the aforementioned vomitorium. Beer is cheaper than water and at 6zloty (£1) for a litre you can’t really go wrong. Ben ordered schnitzel and got one bigger than his own head. I ordered some dumplings which were supposed to be a starter and got a dozen banito sized cheese and potato concoctions. Oh yeah, apparently a giant gherkin and large portion of sauerkraut counts as a beer snack over there.

Lastly for Krakow- they officially have the best hot chocolate we have ever had. Just cupfuls of melted chocolate which you loosen up with fresh whipped cream and then eat with a spoon.

Quick and uneventful train ride over to Warsaw where we checked into the ‘Oki Doki’ hostel for a couple of nights. Had the creepiest room I have stayed in to date. All of the rooms are named and themed. Some people got ‘fashion’ or ‘football’ rooms. We got ‘the room of 1001 hands’. There are hundreds of handprints up the walls, ceiling, lampshade, bedspread, curtains…everywhere. Check in was particularly hilarious as the dude at the desk clearly thought Ben was Jewish and pointed out museums and places to go where Ben could investigate his ‘heritage’.

The room of 1001 hands. Creepy

Warsaw (or Varsava to pronounce it as we kept being told to) is a bit of a bizarre town to wander round. There is an old town and a new town as there is in pretty much any capital city in Eastern Europe but since the entire city was basically razed to the ground in WW2 the old town is a historical reconstruction. Also, since it was built by the soviets it is a reconstruction of what the old town was like in the 17^th and 18^th centuries (not pre war as that is too ‘decadent’ and ‘capitalist’) but with any religious iconography strategically missing (interesting choice in a country where 80% of the population are practicing Catholics). 

The Russians also ‘gifted’ the cultural palace to the city of warsaw which is an enormous grey monstrosity dominating the skyline and nicknamed by locals ‘Stalin’s penis’.

We got taken on a tour of Warsaw by a local girl who explained that a)the old town is a reconstruction populated by old people b)for some reason the other side of the river is almost entirely populated by Russians and Vietnamese c)vodka drinking rules. We were given vodka and polish bread smeared with pork lard and topped with gherkin as part of our tour.

You might randomly see us on youtube doing a bit part for an advert for Oki Doki hostel. They made us do it. Also we felt a bit guilty as we had managed to get 3 free meals out of the hostel that day (yes, we are that cheap).

The old town. Newer than the new town!

Stalins somewhat imposing member in Warsaw

On a final, if slightly more serious note, if you ever happen to be in Warsaw definitely try to go to the Warsaw uprising museum. It’s all about the ghettoization of the Jews during the war (hundreds of thousands died from Warsaw alone) and then about how in 1944, shortly before the end of the war the remaining population of Warsaw took up arms and started using guerrilla warfare tactics against the Germans which lasted about a month before they were decimated to the last man all while the Soviets watched from the edge of the city. The Allies also failed to do anything other than drop a few airdrops of food and arms, most of which ended up in German hands.

On that cheerful note we shall sign off- part 2: Lithuania and Estonia to come shortly.........